From an outsider’s perspective? We fly around on private jets, serving Vueve and filet mignon while finding ourselves in a different tropical destination by the week sporting a neon bikini and/or fluffy white robe. (Shoutout to the #CFARobeGang)
While those are certainly the highlights and not always completely untrue, if you spoke to any one of us who have spent a substantial amount of time in this industry, we would – without hesitation – inform you that that’s not ALL we do.
Whether it’s for credibility purposes, a justification to the naysayers, or longing to give the outside world a genuine perspective of “A day in the life,” for the sake of the latter, I find that I’m in fact less of a flight attendant some days than anything.
From my personal and, perhaps not as unique as I sometimes feel it to be, experience, I have fulfilled roles that would certainly fall under a different job description.
And here’s a few….
- Latest Member of the Party Planning Committee
This is potentially the least expected of the jobs, but one that I’ve leaned into in a big way – whether I’ve wanted to or not.
The addition of our own personal hangar for our flight operations has dramatically changed the scope of all of our jobs and is surely one of my favorites (most days).
Office space has increased my productivity, a kitchen has expanded my realm of catering possibilities, and the laundry area has made me despise ironing that much more, but the hangar in and of itself has turned me into an event planner that Angela would loathe.
The space is grandiose as it needs to comfortably house a G500 and decor to model the core of what we do. Spoiler – it’s attending football games in the fall.
When my phone rings or email dings there’s a higher chance of it being a request to host a lunch or event versus a pop-up trip of any sort. In fact, there was a spurt where I had multiple events on the calendar that weren’t flying-duty related.
The pride felt in this, for the sake of this job duty let’s call it event space, leaned to an official open house that our boss insisted was worthy of showing up in some sort of Columbus-local print article. No detail was left untouched from sourcing catering (ps check out @Sharecuterie), to concocting an open house-specific cocktail (was a hit), entertaining a plethora of strangers, and answering questions about what it’s like to work on this jet (what do YOU think?). The highlight was watching everyone devour the custom cookies that I didn’t get to so much as smell because they were so good + snicker at everyone’s reactions after their first sip of our Spartan Splash drink.
As we speak we have a major event we’re hosting in the fall and, call it what it is, we know how to throw a party. I’ve embraced this job description that I did not see in my foreseeable future.
2. Organizing Extraordinaire
I’d be lying if I said my personal space at home was as polished as the jet or the hangar as I’m sure you could supply a salon with the number of loose bobbi pins floating around my cosmetic drawer.
HOWEVER keeping every inch of the jet looking like it’s out of a Gulfstream sales magazine and ensuring that no toilet paper roll is left un-pointed has become a weekly, if not sometimes daily practice. I have turned into the aviation version of Marie Kondo, except I understand that even the little things such as gold airplane stickers give you joy…so you can keep those.
My stock and snack cabinets are one would consider a work of art and I can always find exactly what I need in my galley stock (including specific Nespresso pods). Flight attendants have this down to such a science that without a doubt if you showed me photos of 100 galleys, we would be able to determine which jet comes with a flight attendant and which ones leave their stock to pilots whose knowledge does not extend beyond the location of the coffee pots.
3. Mixologist
This one is important. While I have put together a display of Bloody Marys solely based on the supplies I found in my standard stock at a moment’s notice for a group headed to a bachelor party, and have the Nespresso frother time down to an actual science, none compare to the “blue drink” I made for our open house. It’s my personal claim to fame and will die on that hill.
Flight attendants will serve you handcraft beverages on the jet WITHOUT having that RBF that your local bartender has time and time again. Nor will your flight attendant judge you (overtly, with their facial expression) for whatever you order. My boss has a private jet and insists on only drinking Wild Turkey 101…so…who am I to throw shade?
4. Therapists
It would, rightfully so, be assumed that if your boss, clients, guests, etc etc own or are chartering a private jet, that they enjoy flying to some degree.
Not only is that not true more than you think, some of them are downright TERRIFIED! It’s not until you’re on a Challenger 604 filled with a family going to a ranch in Wyoming, completely white-knuckling the armrests, that you realize how much guests genuinely depend on you for safety and to just be a calm presence. And Dramamine dispenser.
5. A Nanny You Didn’t Ask to Be
Kids are fine. I’ve met some really cool toddlers, and have met ones who choose blue PlayDoh as their form of entertainment on a private jet they do not own. I’ve met kids that sleep the entire flight, and others that ask you questions about aircraft disasters after you’ve given your safety briefing. I’ve flown kids that ask to see the cockpit with sheer excitement, and others that use the principal’s seat as a jungle gym.
There are kids that want nothing more than the Cheetos in the snack basket, and others that shove all 6 macarons down their throat that were on display upon sprinting through the cabin. Kids that steal all of your toilet paper, children who color on the walls, and toddlers who leave bloody tissues on the credenza. One that, through all of this, had also had a personal nanny on board.
And these are just the examples that came to the top of my mind while writing this first draft.
Flight attendants are the experts of the cabin to ensure that Bluey shows up on the requested TV, the host of the flight providing chicken tenders as, not necessarily requested, but absolutely needed, and being a friendly face despite all to ensure your littlest guests are taken care of.
And asset protection because of all above.
5. Master Chef and Catering Sourcing Expert
When was the last time you served a 3 course meal for 9 guests in an hour and 45 minutes? Probably not lately. Or ever. Unless you’re a flight attendant it has fully become a perfected routine. In the time I spend scrolling through other flight attendant pages for meal inspo, I could have finished Succession. Twice.
Flight attendants know the perfect place to source pastries by 7am (@FoxintheSnow), how to rotate food in the oven to ensure the back right corner doesn’t burn, and that while your principals claim to not like avocado, their favorite salad is full of CHUNKS of that green stuff.
However, not every meal we make or catering experience we have is what we have dreamed up in our minds. For example: We landed in Deliverance…I mean…Ft. Dodge, Iowa for a few hours and the principal requested dinner on the way home, pretty standard. Conveniently when his rental car didn’t show (as they often don’t) we offered ours because we could make it work. SOMEONE at this FBO had to have a car, right? Or Uber? Wrong and wrong. The weather that day was particularly nice for fall and the lone employee at the FBO had taken his motorcycle to work. Fantastic.
So, I hopped on UberEats hopeful that something edible would appear that I could doctor up. Buffalo Wild Wings it is, as they had flatbreads, salads, things I could make to not look like they came straight from a deep fryer. When it finally showed up, as one could have expected, half of it was lost in the abyss, and the half that showed up was truly inedible. Unfortunately for my pilot, he took a few sad bites of his salad and ended up with a mild case of food poisoning. Only later to find himself bartering with God from the cockpit to just let him make it home without embarrassing himself.
You’re probably asking why I didn’t go to the grocery store – was I going to walk their dirt roads in my work heels? WHAT GROCERY STORE?
Back to UberEats it was as I was scrambling and found Tropical Smoothie Cafe. A healthier option and slightly more hopeful. When it arrived, I was almost certain the person who delivered it had a spot on America’s Most Wanted List and that concluded my time in Ft. Dodge. This is the place where they got the phrase, “Get the f*ck out of Dodge.”
6. Florists and Botonists
Nobody has ever boarded a flight with a beautiful bouquet and said “ehh wish you hadn’t.” It’s one of my favorite small touches and in my experience it completely brightens up the mood. In fact, I know flight attendants who have floral businesses – @alphafluers and @firstclassaffair. The arrangements that flight attendants come up with are incredible and I’m certain that when I flew one of my celebrity crushes, their mom left with my flowers so I’ll stamp that as a win.
7. Nutritionists and Wellness Specialists
The pilots certainly aren’t feeding themselves….Jokes aside this one is important to me because it is crucial that our crews are fueled, healthy, and feeling their best. As much as we would all love to devour those cinnamon rolls and macarons (or healthy cookies as our pilot calls them), it’s the fastest way to not being able to fasten your belt and feel like crap on the job.
Flight attendants have the ability to curate meals that will leave the entire crew, us included, without letting our pilots realize they’re eating their veggies. One of our pilots is a perfect example of this – he has traveled the world and is a big food guy in his own right, but to this day, every time I feed him a different salad he exclaims, “WHAT IS IN THIS?!” And now insists pomegranate seeds find a place in their breakfast fruit bowls.
I’ve also got the other pilot hooked on the Peloton app and we’re working on the other because #crewintegrity.
Through all of these stories, I caught myself giggling at all of the memories I’ve already made in this career. It wouldn’t be the job I was hoping for without all of these extra sub-professions. Regardless if I knew what I was getting into, I yearn to see what job description I add to the list next.
